Seven years ago, I ran my first (and to date, only) marathon in the City of Angels. When I signed up in September of the previous year, I was fresh off of a rejection from a boy that I really liked. I’d always wanted to run a marathon, but somehow this rejection motivated me to make the commitment, and run the race. Part of me was running to prove to myself that I could do hard things, and that I was still worthy, regardless of my love life or romantic status.
By that point, I’d already run several half-marathons, but a marathon was a different feat. “Respect the 26.2,” one of my running group leaders said. As I deposited countless Saturday morning group runs and mostly solo weekday runs into my marathon piggy bank, I hoped that the investment would come back to me with dividends.
It certainly did, and they continue to compound to this day.
The truth is, I could write many posts about my marathon experience, because it is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. It continues to teach me, even seven years later, lessons about life, love, and commitment.
Perhaps more profoundly, running a marathon taught me about myself.
A recovering people pleaser, training for a marathon was one of the first times I gave myself permission to put myself first. It, by necessity, forced me to say “no” to what did not serve my strength, health, and training.
I wanted to share three of my biggest lessons with you.
1. I learned to take care of myself first
Signing up for a marathon is a big commitment, and it’s not something that you can do half-heartedly. In deciding to sign up, train, and complete a marathon, taking care of myself became my number one priority. Without treating my body well, whether that be through getting adequate sleep, fueling with nutritious foods before and after runs, or cutting back on alcohol, I knew I wouldn’t be able to show up fully for the race. I deserved to take care of myself and my needs first, and training for a marathon forced me to choose myself first every day.
2. I learned to set boundaries
Saying “yes” to running a marathon also meant saying “no” to a lot more.
No more Friday night hang outs with friends. No more sleeping in on Saturdays. No more eating or drinking what didn’t make my body feel good. No to disordered eating habits I’d developed, too — because I could no longer afford to deprive my body of what it needed.
Instead, I found myself saying “yes” to…
Waking up at 5:30am every Saturday morning for six months
Building community with my running group
Making meals that energized and fueled my body to race
3. I learned to set my own pace
At one point during the marathon, about mile 15 or 16, two of my running group friends were slowing down due to emerging injuries and cramping. With their agreement, we decided to part ways and I continued with my running group leader.
If I’d chosen to stay out of obligation and people pleasing, it’s likely that I would’ve felt resentful. Instead, I felt grateful that we’d had 15+ miles together during the race, and knew it was my time to carry forward at the timing that worked best for me.
I got to meet up with them at the end of the race, and we were able to swap stories on the last ten miles of our respective adventures.
Let’s reflect
As always, I would love to hear any insights or takeaways this brings up for you.
What experiences have taught you about people pleasing? What have you learned from those experiences?
And, if you’re looking for support shifting from saying “yes” to everything, to saying “no” with confidence, I have a free resource for you!
You can download my new free guide, Six Ways to Stop People Pleasing and Own What You Want here.
Of course, if I can serve you in the meantime, please do reach out.
In loving support,
Grace