Last week I was catching up with a dear friend. She passed along that her close friend, who I knew had been on a dating hiatus, was back on the scene. As she reflected on her friend’s adventures, she shared that her friend viewed dating as an “investment.”
In that moment, I could feel the outside noise begin to fade away, as my mindset shifted.
The word “investment” struck me, because it implies the expectation of ups and downs. Just like in the market. There are “yes’s” and “no’s” and “go aheads” and rejections.
And, like in the market, it requires commitment to stay in the game during a downturn. It requires a resistance to the urge to panic and sell. It requires a willingness to ride with the ups and downs, like a buoy in the sea bobbing its head just above the water.
Put in another way, if you were taking a walk or hike in the woods, and realized you were no longer following the trail, you would simply turn around and go the other way. No questions asked, no attachment to continuing down the previous path. You would simply trust the marker that you were no longer on the trail, turn around, and proceed to the most recent trail marker.
What matters most is to follow the path and keep going.
Whether it’s looking for your dream job, searching for a life partner, or starting a business.
Pursuits are an investment, and investments come with no’s.
“No” isn’t necessarily bad. We attach meaning to not getting what we want, and often make it about us and our worth.
But, imagine…
What if we could release attachment to a specific person or outcome, and instead enjoy the adventure of the process in itself?
What if the experience of feeling rejection is a profound learning opportunity?
What if rejection serves to bring in something more aligned and more fruitful than we can imagine?
Rejection is a sign of playing full out. Of being on the court. Of taking risks and taking action.
Without action, we can’t get rejected. Without action, we can’t change our reality.
So, next time you’re feeling the gravitational pull of rejection?
I invite you to try these things instead:
Celebrate that you’ve been taking risks and taking action! You are out there, and you are doing it already — and that deserves to be celebrated.
Reflect on your learnings. Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this rejection? What might I want to try differently next time?”
Affirm yourself, for example: “I acknowledge that I am in action and taking steps toward what I want to create. I graciously receive each ‘no’ as a celebration of my action, and with each ‘no’ I get closer to what is most aligned for me. Bring on the ‘no’s!’”
Make rejection playful! Challenge yourself to collect as many no’s as possible. For more inspiration, check out Jia Jiang’s TED Talk, “What I learned from 100 days of rejection.”
In the end, keep going! Rejection can feel scary, but you can do it. The universe will meet your action.
And if you’d like support navigating rejection, I would love to connect. Rejection often comes up in coaching conversations, and I am quite familiar with it. Book a time to connect with me at the link below.